Rapunzel
by The Dark Enchantress
Summary: A little twist on Rapunzel. And guess what. I'm in it! Gee. I wonder who my charactor is? Or should I say charactors. With an S. Fin.
1. Rapunzel

Rapunzel  
  
*I do not own the stroy of Rapunzel. I just added some things to make it more funny.*  
  
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Narrator: Once upon a time in a land of hills and gardens, a husband and his wife lived in a small, but snug, cottage. They were good people and they got along with everyone in the village.  
  
Witch: Ahhem!  
  
Narrator: Well. Almost everyone. They had everything they needed in their lives. Except for one thing. They had no children. Then one day the wife came home with wonderful news.  
  
Wife: I lave wonderful news!  
  
Narrator: Is there an echo in here?  
  
Wife: I'm going to have a baby!  
  
Narrator: They were so happy they hugged and laughed. They started thinking of what to call the new baby. The next day, the wife spent the whole morning in the kitchen thinking of possible names. She then began to stare out the window of their house, into the garden below. Her eyes opened with amazement. She realized she was staring at a bed of the most beautiful, tempting turnips she had ever seen. That's right people. Turnips. They were full, ripe and she was aching to eat one. Her desire to eat a turnip became so great that she refused to eat any other food, and she began to grow pale and weak.  
  
Wife: I will not be happy until I have those turnips from the garden below.  
  
Narrator: The wife said.  
  
Wife: Don't interupt me!  
  
Narrator: Whatever you say lady.  
  
Wife: Anyway. If I don't have some, I know I will die.  
  
Narrator: The husband was terrified. He knew it was very important for his wife to eat something soon or she and their coming baby would both die. But no one had ever gone into that garden before. And do you know why?  
  
Amania: Uhhh, because the garden belonged to an evil witch?  
  
Narrator: Because it was the property of an evil old wi... Wait a minute. How did you know that?  
  
Amania: Lets just say that the only person to check out the book Rapunzel, at my old school, at least a thousand times was myself.  
  
Narrator: Well, whatever. I'm the one telling the stroy ok?  
  
Amania: Whatever.  
  
Narrator: Anyway. If she caught anyone in her garden, the rumors were that she did horrible, terrible things to them. But this was an emergency. So, of he went to the witch's garden. Early that evening, the husband climbed the wall and jumped down. He quickly uprooted several turnips, ran back to the fence, climbed back over it, and went upstairs. Sounds like hard work, doesn't it? Makes me tired just talking about that. His wife was overjoyed.  
  
Wife: These turnips are so beutiful! And I bet they taste even better.  
  
Narrator: She then quickly chopped them up, and cooked them. And then, she and her husband ate them for dinner.  
  
Husband: Those were good! Now are you happy?  
  
Wife: For this one night, yes! But tomorrow I will need even more. I must have more turnips! More I say!  
  
Narrator: The husband moaned.  
  
Husband: WHAT! More?!  
  
Narrator: The husband would have to risk his safety aganin tomorrow, and bring back more turnips for his wife. The following afternoon, he again leaped over the fence, and started pulling turnips from the ground. Suddenly, a voice came from behind him. He whiped around. He was then face to face with the ugliest woman he had ever seen.  
  
Witch: Hey! Who are you calling ugly?!  
  
Narrator: I'm just calling it as I see it.  
  
Witch: Why you little!  
  
Narrator: Anyway, she had hardly any teeth, her skin was wrinkled, her eyes were yellow, and they didn't blink.  
  
Witch: So you are the turnip thief! I shall now punish you for your crime! And that little narrator guy who thinks I'm ugly.  
  
Narrator: Humph. I liked to see her try! She was then prepared to place a curse on the HUSBAND! Not the narrator, but then the husband said:  
  
Husband: No, please, forgive me.  
  
Narrator: Falling to his knees.  
  
Husband: I only took these turnips because my wife is going to have a baby soon and she said she would die if she didn't have some of your, wonderful, turnips you have.  
  
Narrator: The witch paused. Her anger eased.  
  
Witch: That is different. In that case, you may take as many turnips as you wish.  
  
Husband: Thank you so much.  
  
Narrator: The husband said as he got to his feet.  
  
Witch: I have one demand, however.  
  
Narrator: Added the witch.  
  
Husband: A demand? *Uh oh. Here it comes.*  
  
Narrator: He knew that the witch was about to say something that would be terrible. Just awful.  
  
Witch: Yes. In exchange for the turnips, you are to give me your child as soon as your wife gives birth. I will take care of it, as if I were its true mother.  
  
Amania: Now I know you are not supposed to call anything an "It" but only to be meen. Sorry for interupting again.  
  
Narrator: Yes. Now you are the weakest link. Goodbye.  
  
Amania: You are not Anne. And that was certenly not funny!  
  
Narrator: The husband was shocked. But his wife would die without the turnips. I certinly dought that. So he had no other choice but to agree to the witch's demand. A few weeks later, the wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The witch arived in the middle of the night and took the baby away.  
  
Witch: I shall call you Rapunzel.  
  
Narrator: The witch said to the baby girl in her arms. The witch chuckled. She was laughing becaue the turnips the wife had craved were called Rapunzel turnips, so Rapunzel was a fitting name for the child. As time passed, Rapunzel grew to become the most beautiful girl in the entire realm. The witch moved her to a castle far out in the countryside. Because Rapunel was so beautiful, the witch did not want other people to see or be around her, especially young me. I- I mean men. Sorry about that. So the witch made Rapunzel live in a tower, which you might have guessed, for those people who have read this stroy a thousand times, that had no stairs no doors and only one window at the very top. You know the drill. Each day, when the witch wanted to enter the tower, she would call up:  
  
Witch: Rapunzel, Rapunzel,  
  
Let down your hair!  
  
Narrator: Because, Rapunzel had the most beautiful, longest hair in all the world, and it was also the color of gold. When Rapunzel heard the witch call out those words, she would unloose her braids and let her hair out through the window, the entire way down to the ground. The Old hag would...  
  
Witch: There you go again. Calling people names. I really should put a spell on you!  
  
Narrator: The OLD HAG would climb up the side of the tower, pulling on Rapunzel's hair like a rope, until she reached the window.  
  
Rapunzel: Does any body have any asprin?  
  
Amania: How about a lifetime supply of it? Would that work?  
  
Rapunzel: Thanks. That might help.  
  
Narrator: Rapunzel's life went on like this for the next few years. She never left the tower. She never met anyone, other than the witch.  
  
  
  
*That's all for now. I will update this story later.* =) 


	2. And the story continues...

*I hope you like the end of this story! Now back to business.*  
  
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Narrator: Now, Rapunzel grew more and more beautiful every day, as you might have guessed. There was no one to share her beauty with.  
  
Amania: Ohhh. Booo Hooo. How sad. Pleeeeeeeeaase.  
  
Narrator: But one thing she did to keep herself busy was to sing. Often the birds flying by the tower would sing back in reply. Then one day a prince, riding on his horse, came by the tower.  
  
Prince: Hey, it's a tower.  
  
Narrator: He passed by just as Rapunzel was singing a song about rainbows.  
  
Amania: I never heard of a song about rainbows.  
  
Rapunzel: Well, I'm singing about them. I can't think about anything else.  
  
Amania: Have you ever heard of the Backstreet Boys?  
  
Rapunzel: The Backstreet who?  
  
Amania: OMG! How about N*SYNC?  
  
Rapunzel: Nope. Doesn't ring a bell.  
  
Amania: You really need to get a life!  
  
Rapunzel: Tell me about it!!  
  
Narrator: Now, as the prince was passing by, he stopped. He had NEVER heard such a beautiful voice. He knew the singing was coming from the top of the tower, but he couldn't see any doors or openings to the building. Frustrated, he rode home to his castle. But as he slept that night, all he could dream about was the beautiful voice he had heard that afternoon.  
  
Amania: I can't get you off of my mind! At least I think that's how the song goes.  
  
Narrator: The prince was drawn back to the tower the very next day. As he stood behind a bush, he listend to Rapunzel singing about the stars and the sea.  
  
Amania: Hey! Rapunzel!  
  
Rapunzel: What!?  
  
Amania: I've got a song for you!  
  
Rapunzel: Oh yeah! What?  
  
Amania: Greensleves!  
  
Rapunzel: Why?  
  
Amania: I saw Rapunzel sing it on the Simpsons once! In that Halloween episode where they were in Fairy Tale land!  
  
Rapunzel: Whatever. I never saw the Simpsons before.  
  
Amania: Oh yeah! That's right. You don't have a life!  
  
Narrator: That old hag is coming you know.  
  
Amania: Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going. But you should be carefull, narrator guy.  
  
Narrator: And why should I be?  
  
Amania: Beacuse, I heard that she was on a roll with her spells today.  
  
Narrator: Yeah, thanks for the tip. I'll be sure to keep an eye on that.  
  
So, the prince saw the old witch spproach the tower. The witch called out her orders to Rapunzel, to lower her hair.  
  
Witch: Rapunzel, Rapunzel!  
  
Let down your long hair!  
  
And where is that idiot narrator?  
  
Narrator: *Wispering* The prince watched in amazement as the witch climbed up the side of the tower, using Rapunzel's long, blonde hair.  
  
Prince: So that's how a person gets into the tower.  
  
Narrator: *Still wispering* The prince then realized that he needed a plan. The next evening the prince returned to the tower. And using his voice to make it sound like the witch's, he called out:  
  
Prince: Rapunzel, Rapunzel,  
  
Let down you hair.  
  
Narrator: And then in moments time, the blonde hair was flowing down. He grabbed it, climbed up the side of the tower, and came in through the window.  
  
Rapunzel: And who might you be?  
  
Narrator: The prince was the first man she had ever seen.  
  
Amania: Does that mean that you're not a man?  
  
Narrator: What are you talking about? Of course I'm a man!  
  
Amania: I think you're a wimp.  
  
Narrator: Think all you like. I have to continue with the story.  
  
Amania: Uh huh. Of course you do.  
  
Narrator: Rapunzel was frightened, but soon as the prince spoke to her, she calmed down.  
  
Rapunzel: Wow! The first boy in my room! I'm going to be busy tonight!  
  
Amania: Oh. My. God. Rapunzel? Stop it. Please.  
  
Prince: You have the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. You are also the most lovely girl I have ever seen. It's wrong for you to be kept in this tower like a prisoner. Let me free you. Come with me Rapunzel, and be my wife.  
  
Rapunzel: Wow. That was the longest part anybody has ever had in this story! Apart from that narrator guy.  
  
Amania: I know!  
  
Narrator: Yeah! Make fun of the narrator! Rapunzel had read books about kings and queens and princes, and she realized that this wonderful young man was a prince. Ha. She knew that with him she would be far happier than she could ever be with the ugly witch.  
  
Witch: I'm a hearing this?  
  
Narrator: What?  
  
Witch: You just called me ugly again!!  
  
Narrator: No I didn't.  
  
Witch: Yes you did!  
  
Narrator: Can we just get on with the story people!?  
  
Rapunzel: I really do want to be your wife. *Taking the princes hand* It is better than being in here all day. But I have to get out of this room and down to the ground.  
  
Narrator: They knew the prince could jump out of the window, because he was a prince and was used to doing such things. But Rapunzel had never done anything like that, and if she tried it she might get badly hurt.  
  
Amania: Everybody is being a wimp these days!  
  
Rapunzel: I have a plan!  
  
Amania: Of course she does.  
  
Rapunzel: You must come to visit me in the evening, when the witch is away. She is only here during the daytime. Bring with you skeins and bundles of silk. When I have enough silk, I will weave it into a ladder. Then I can climb doen the ladder and you can take me away on your horse.  
  
Prince: I will come every evening with the silk. Soon you will have enough to weave a ladder and we will go off to live our lives as husband and wife.  
  
Narrator: So, for the next several evenings, the prince arrived and brought Rapunzel skeins of silk. She began to weave a ladder. One afternoon, while Rapunzel wasn't paying any attention, the witch came into the tower room. She saw Rapunzel weaving the silken ladder.  
  
Amania: Rapunzel! You should have been paying attention!  
  
Rapunzel: But I was paying attention!  
  
Amania: Yeah! To your weaving!  
  
Rapunzel: Oops!  
  
Amania: You did it again.  
  
Witch: So! Planning an escape, are you? Is this how you repay me for taking such good care of you?  
  
Rapunzel: I'm sick of being in this tower! Damn it! There's a prince who loves me very much and I love him. We wish to live our lives together, away from you and this place!  
  
Narrator: The witch was outraged! Then without saying another word, she grabbed a pair of shears, grabed Rapunzel's long hair, and with one snap, cut off her hair. Then she had Rapunzel taken away, to a lonely desert where only snakes and lizard lived. The witch returned to the tower. She still had Rapunzel's hair, which she had clipped off. She waited until she heard the prince call out from below:  
  
Prince: Rapunzel, Rapunzel,  
  
Let down your hair.  
  
Narrator: At which point the witch, having fastened the braids to hooks, let the hair down to the ground. The prince pulled himself up to the top of the tower and entered to room. When he saw the witch standing there. He gasped.  
  
Witch: Not who you were expecting? Was it?  
  
Narrator: The witch said, laughing with an evil crackle. She approached the prince.  
  
Witch: Perhaps you want to marry me instead of Rapunzel?  
  
Amania: Eeeeewww! How gross is that?  
  
Narrator: I know. The prince took two steps back.  
  
Prince: Where is my love? What have you done to her, you evil old lady?  
  
Narrator: Ha! I could think of better names than that to say to her!  
  
Amania: Yeah! So can I!  
  
Witch: Your bird was caught by the cat!  
  
Narrator: More like the bitch.  
  
Witch: *Turns to the narrator* I'm coming for you next! *Turns back to the prince* You will never see her again! In fact, you will see nothing!  
  
Narrator: Shocked with grief, the prince leaped out of the window. The fall did not kill him, but he landed in a bush of thorns, which pierced both his eyes. He then lost his sight.  
  
Witch: *Turns to the narrator* Now, it's your turn!  
  
Narrator: Uh oh. *gulp*  
  
Witch: I shall make you sleep forever, but once a year, you wake up for only about one second, just to, yet again, fall back to sleep. *Makes a fireball in her right hand and hurls it at him.*  
  
Narrator: No.  
  
Amania: *Gaspes in horror. Runs to him but is to late. He falls to the ground. Unconciuos. But sleeping.* What have you done to him!!  
  
Witch: I only made him sleep.  
  
Amania: *Runs to his side, falls to the ground and picks up his lifeless hand. Turns to the witch* You bitch! You fucking bitch!  
  
Witch: Do you want me to turn you into something?  
  
Amania: *Glares at the witch*  
  
Witch: I didn't think so. I see that you have grown fond of the narrator.  
  
Amania: *Turns her head to look at the narrator's sleeping face.*  
  
Witch: I thought so.  
  
Amania: Please wake up! *Taps lightly on the narrator's face.* Crap! Now what are we going to do with this story!  
  
Witch: That's your problem. Not mine. *Crackles. Walks away to her house.*  
  
Amania: *Sigh.* Well then. I guess I have to do it myself.  
  
  
  
*Find out next time to see what happenes next!* =) 


	3. Part 3.

*This is part 3 of this Rapunzel story. Maybe the end of it, but I'll have to check up on that.*  
  
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Amania: *Sigh.* Okay, here goes nothing.  
  
Blind and saddened, the prince wandered for many months through the land, eating nothing but roots and berries. At night he would lie on the ground, his ears straining to hear the singing of his beloved Rapunzel. But he heard nothing but the wind and the wailing of a lonely fox. One night, when he'd decided he could no longer go on, the prince lay down, mourning the loss of his love, planning to end his life.  
  
Prince: I was wondering when you were going to start talking about me again.  
  
Amania: You know what prince?! Lay of it, alright? This isn't just about you anymore!  
  
Suddenly, from a distance, he heard a voice. Singing a song about sunsets and angels. *Sigh* I'm not going to bother with that one. Unless it's about the vampire Angel, but whatever. The prince stood up. He could not believe it. It was his Rapunzel. Though blind, he ran through the woods as fast as he could, getting closer and closer to the voice. Rapunzel was sitting, alone, atop a small hill. She looked up. She could not believe her eyes. Her prince had found her.  
  
Rapunzel: My love! Do you not see me? Here I am!  
  
Amania: The prince ran to the sound of her voice. He reached her and the two of them embraced. They laughed and cried. Two of Rapunzel's tears touched the prince's eyes. Instantly, his eyes opened.  
  
Prince: I can see again! Huray!  
  
Amania: They hugged and gazed into each other's eyes. Then the prince led Rapunzel out of the desert, back to his kingdom, where they were welcomed with great joy by all the people. They were married in a royal ceremony, and as prince and princess they lived happily ever after.. Or did they...  
  
  
  
*Don't forget about the narrator. What's going to happen to Amania and the narrator. You don't even know his name yet.* =) 


	4. A happy ending.

*This is now the ending of this story. I hope you have been enjoying this story!*  
  
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Amania: (She is looking very sad. She is humming to the tune of Greensleves.) Well if Rapunzel isn't going to do it. (She is rocking the narrator in her arms.) *She stops suddenly.* How am I ever going to get this curse off of you? (She looks at his sleeping face.) *Sigh* Should I kiss you? Should I kill the witch? Should I do both? Duh. I JUST DON'T KNOW! Sorry for my screaming. I don't think that can wake you up. (She then started to cry. Suddenly a large puff of smoke began to emerge off of the ground. And then a lady appeared in front of her.  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Do not cry. For I am here to grant you one wish.  
  
Amania: Hey! You look just like me! Do I know you?  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Well, I sure hope you do. Don't you see that name at the beginning of this page?  
  
Amania: thedarkenchantress. Hey that's you!  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Yes it is. I got fed up with that witch that I snucked up behind her and I killed her. With my own bare hands. No magic involved, what so ever.  
  
Amania: Wow. So. About that wish?  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Yes. That is right. I am here to grant you one wish. For I already killed the witch, and I also stole her book of spells. So. What is your wish? Or do I already know your wish?  
  
Amania: I think you already know my wish. (She said sadly, looking at the narrator in her arms.)  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Well, all you have to do is say the magic words, and I will grant you that wish.  
  
Amania: Ok. I wish, that I could wake up the prince. I mean the narrator. Oops. Sorry about that.  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Ok. One wish coming up. (She then pointed her arms at the narrator and purple sparkly dust came out of her fingertips. Now all you have to do is kiss him and he will wake up.  
  
Amania: Thank you so much for granting my wish!  
  
The Dark Enchantress: No problem. (And with that, she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.)  
  
Amania: (She then kissed him on the lips. Soon his crystal clear blue eyes stared up at her and he smiled. She smiled back.) Oh, thank God, you're all right!  
  
Narrator: So am I. *Ahem.* So, what happened when I was asleep?  
  
Amania: Well, The Dark Enchantress came and granted me one wish.  
  
Narrator: And what was that wish?  
  
Amania: I wished for me to wake you up.  
  
Narrator: And you woke me up?  
  
Amania: Yes.  
  
Narrator: With a kiss?  
  
Amania: *Chuckles* Yeah.  
  
Narrator: Where is The Dark Enchantress now?  
  
Amania: I don't know. She's probably up in her castle doing something.  
  
Narrator: Oh.  
  
Amania: Well, also when you where asleep, the prince and Rapunzel lived happily ever after. But I don't know if they did or not.  
  
Narrator: Heh, I knew that would happen.  
  
Amania: Of course you did. Now, I have one question to ask you.  
  
Narrator: What is it?  
  
Amania: What's your name?  
  
Narrator: You don't know my name?  
  
Amania: No, I don't know. After all this time I don't know your name. What is it?  
  
Narrator: My name is Jeff.  
  
Amania: What?  
  
Jeff: I said, my name is Jeff.  
  
Amania: I can't believe this! Your name is Jeff?  
  
Jeff: Yeah.  
  
Amania: Dark Enchantress!!! Did you have anything to do with this?!  
  
The Dark Enchantress: Maybe. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.  
  
Amania: Yeah. Very funny. Are you sure that's your real name?  
  
Jeff: I guess so. I don't know if I had ever had any other name.  
  
Amania: Oh well. I guess I can live with that. Come on, I'll help you up.  
  
The Dark Enchantress: And with that, Amania and Jeff lived happily ever after. The End.  
  
  
  
*I hoped you enjoyed that story. I know I did. I hope you review this story. I have a ton of homework I should be getting done. I was going to put Erik von Detton, but then I decided not to. Ha, ha. Just a little joke. I assure you. Well, bye-bye.* =) 


End file.
